Tuesday [July] 16^th. We went up into the high tower to see the troops pass over into Virginia. 4 regiments crossed the long bridge while we were up there. Every now & then they rent the air with their enthusiastic shouts but it was sad very sad to see them go. I could not feel partiotic. I thought of the sad patient face we saw last night, of the many brothers who were pressing thus eagerly foward to shed the blood of brothers. Saw Fanny this evening she came from Alexandria this morning Elderkin left her at 11 o'clock he is under Gen. Franklin's command. She said the army 50,000 strong was to be stationed eight miles from Alexandria on the road to Fairfax Court house & an attack was to be made upon the latter place at 6 o'clock tomorrow. It was expected that the southeners would retreat to Richmond or rather to Manassas junction. Father went to see Mr. Horten who said he was very very sorry to hear Mr. Bell's charge not remained a unionist. Father also saw the editor of the principal paper in Nashville who said he was very sorry he was not in Nashville when Mr B. made the speach declarative of divisive sentiments. He would have suppressed as it was probably made when Mr. B. was unduely excited.

W[ednesday July] 17^th. Dr. and Mrs Hodge were here this morning. Major H. & Sam left yesterday. I suppose they were among the troops we saw pass over the bridge. Prof Forman & Mr Alexander of Balt. were also here the former looks somewhat like Col. Butterfield. Met Judge & Mrs Minich on the avenue this afternoon. The Judge said it was very probable the armys were fighting then. Mr. Wechlege has heard from Mr. Seward at the war department that⁽¹⁾ that Fairfax Court house was to be attacked between 8 & 9 A.M. Father has just come in from the observatory where he went with Dr. Hodge. Coming home he met Mr.⁽²⁾ who had just returned from Fairfax Courthouse. The cesessionists had been warned early in the morning of the meditated attack upon the village, a milkman having conveyed a letter from someone in W[ashington] & the place was deserted, women & children as well as the male population had fled some depridations had been committed by the soldiery but the officers soon put an end to anything of that kind.

T[hursday July] 18^th. The papers to day contain the account we received last night.

Fri[day July] 19^th. Another extra of the Star to day, account of an engagement at Bull Run half way between Fairfax Court House & Mannassas Junction. The federal army in its march towards the latter station were stopped by the fire from a concealed battery shortly another also concealed commenced canonading & then a third. The troops braved the storm of balls remarkably well with the exception of a regiment from Mass & one from N.Y. It is very difficult to obtain authentic information in regard to the military maneuvers. Gen. Scott is in constant communication with the army by telegraph but he keeps his own council.

S[aturday July] 20^th. It is reported to night that the Battery at Bull Run have been taken but Mr. Willing who has just left us says that is a mistake.

The Southerners⁽³⁾

Sunday July 21^st. 4 pm This day morning as I went into church Mr.⁽⁴⁾ told me that our troops were still fighting at Bulls Run. Gen Scott was in church he said he pitied two ladies who sat in front of him as their husbands were engaged in battle probably at that very time. I have come home with Fanny as she is troubled about Mr. Elderkin who is at Bull Run. Melly has just come in to tell us our troops have been fighting since early in the morning.

10 P. M. Mrs. Gurley drew me aside just before we came up stairs to tell me Col Heishman was wounded & the battery in which Mr. Elderkin is was supposed to be cut to pieces. Fanny has fallen asleep tired of watching poor little me she little knows what cause she has for anxiety.

[July] 22. Still at Dr. Gurleys This has been a weary weary day. I am glad night has come at last so that I can forget its sad realities in sleep. Asleep would I were so now, would I might awake from what seems like a hideous dream. All last night ambulances were passing the house & we expected every moment one would stop at our door. As we were seated at the breakfast table this morning a violent pull at the door bell made us all start to our feet. Two soldiers entered bloodstained & dusty. Poor little Fanny threw herself on the floor at my feet covering her ears fearing to hear the terrible news they might bring. They were messengers of good tiding for her however Elderkin was safe but a sad sad tale they had to tell. The Northern Army has was ingloriously defeated driven back before the rebel forces. 16,000 were said to have been engaged on one side & 30,000 on the other. The loss of life on both sides was very great but they could not of course tell us exactly how many were killed & wounded. Three times our narator a strong man burst into tears & cried like a child. About 12 o'clock Mr. Elderkin arrived. He had not tasted food for twenty four hours. He said the batteries of the confederate forces were arranged in the form of a {triangle drawing}. One of them had been taken early in the day & this for seemed to be in the hands of the confederate army until the tree confederates were reenforced by a body of troops from Manassas. From all In my humble opinion I have been able to learn during the day however it seems I should think this battery have been yielded xx in order to entrap the federal army in the {drawing} & then it was evidently the plan of the day cutting off their retreat with an attack of cavalry in the rear. while an attack of cavelry in the rear out off prevented a retreat. The plan did not quite succeed however the cavelry "The black Horsemen", were repulsed by Ellsworth's Zouaves. A panic seized the troops about 4 pm & they fled precipetatily. A number of Congressmen who had been exceedingly eager for the battle & had gone down to witness what they were pleased to designate the Southern races, leading the retrograde movement. The Rhode Island Regiments was the only one that retreated in good order we saw them come into the city about 10 A.M. It was a pitiable sight. Many of the men were without shoes or stocking jaded & terribly dirty, some had yielded to exhaustion & were borne upon the shoulders of others who seemed scarcely less weary than themselves they formed a sad contrast to the enthusiastic well dressed military looking men who left us on.

All day long bodies of stragling troops have been coming into the city & the streets lined with men seated upon the side walks in the pelting rain. Their officers many of them killed, their companys broken up they did not seem to know where to go. Our Army has been completely routed could the Southerners have attacked the city on Sunday night it might very readily have been taken. My neighbor in the next room was at Bull Run he hurt three of his ribs by a fall from his horse but has been as contented & bright during the evening as if he were in perfect health.⁽⁵⁾

We have heard of the death of several of our friends but I am happy to learn Col Hunter & his young aid are safe. The former is quite severely wounded but is in not danger at present. It is terrible to think of the hearts bleeding tonight, of the thousands weeping for sons husbands & brothers falling unknown & unnoticed except to swell the number the exponent of the Country's loss.

[July] 23^rd. This is a beautiful day after yesterday's rain. It is a relief to see sunshine again but it does not bring happiness with it. A member of the N.Y. 71st. Regiment has just been here. He fought well & bravely but says he hopes he may never again see a battle field. He shuddered & put his hand over his eyes when he told us the horror of that terrible Sunday could neither be forgotten or described. He said the cowardice & inefficiency of the volunteer officers was almost to great to be believed. One of their captains was about to leave when his men told him if he should they would shoot him down. The streets are still crowded with soldiers, every few step almost we encounter crowds collected around some of the Bull's Run adventurers listening with mouth & eyes wide open.

[July] 27^th. The excitement after the Battle is intense. Gen. McDowell is very much blamed. Gen Scott declares he [is] washing his hands of the affair & hopes now he may be allowed to carry out his plans without molestation. He is said to have declared to the President that he must be commander in chief in reality, as well as in name or he must resign. The members of congress who were so eager for the battle and went to see what they were pleased to call the Southern races are said to have caused the panic by their precipitous flight. Reports are so contradictis it is impossible to know the number of the killed & wounded.

[July] 29^th. Yesterday a poor man came to Father to know if he could obtain permission to visit the battle field. He wished to look for the body of his son. He heard of him through a companion by whose side he was shot down & who procured him medical assistance but the bullets were falling thick & fast.---the army left the poor wounded boy & his friend was obliged to flee for his life. The unhappy father was over[come] with grief we could hear his groans from one end of the house to the other.

Father saw a son of Gen Meigs who gave him the best description of the battle he had yet received. He is a West Point

cadet at home for the holidays. He came to his Father on the Saturday before the battle & told him that he could not remain quiet while so many brave men were fighting for their country perhaps he might not be of any use but he wished to do what little good was in his power & requested permission to join the army in Virginia. He told his Mother of his intention only an hour before he started saying he thought it was his duty to go & she must not forbid him. He distinguished himself most nobly displaying he coolness intrepidness & skill of an old experienced general. Once tyed a white handkerchief to a stick he rode forward alone to find out wheather an advancing body of men belonged to the Federal or confederate forces with only a pistol in his belt. Once as an experienced officer was leading his men into the midst of an open space in order to get their⁽⁶⁾ before them he waved his sword & shouted out at the top of his voice will "Men will you have your⁽⁷⁾ or your lives & ordering a retreat saved a gallant company. Gen Scott is justly proud of his young countryman.

Much is said of the ferocity of the Southerners at the battle but the feeling of animosity seems to be equally deep on both sides. One of our friends who had been upon the field told us he saw two wounded men a federal & a secessionist lying side by side attempt to bayonet each other too weak for such an effort they sank back exhausted & dying.

Aug[ust] 17^th. The city has been very quiet for the last two weeks. Most of the soldiers are encamped beyond the limits of the city and are not allowed to leave their quarters. Even the officers are arrested if they appear in the streets without a pass. General McClellan believed the successor [of] Mc Dowell seems determined to maintain the strictest discipline in his armies. The utmost secrecy is now preserved by the Government in regard to wars movement, a necessary precaution since the Southerners have been kept constantly informed of every important measure of the Northern army. When our forces reached Fairfax Court House, the[y] found in the quarters deserted by the rebel officers maps of fortification as photographed from those made at the Coast Survey, copies of which had not yet been issued for use of the Federal officers.

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